Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
