we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I want her autograph on my taint
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
