I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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