You just made me feel so damn special
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
