He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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