Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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