were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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