tell your sister to shave her snatch
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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