I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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