never play flip cup with pint glasses
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
