In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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