That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
