shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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