I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
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Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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