Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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