she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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