mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
