cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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