Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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