My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
