is your mom at the bar?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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