Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
