Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
