I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
