Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
