I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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