Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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