I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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