tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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