I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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