Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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