He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she told me i tasted like america
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
