if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
