Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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