my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
