shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
