i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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