never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
