come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how drunk are you?
Several
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
