girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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