For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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