I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
