As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
