so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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