you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
