All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm like, not good at living.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
