I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
