i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
