people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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