we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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