Plan B is the new Plan A
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
