Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
