even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
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He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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