babies were throwing up all over the place
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hippo gnu deer
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
