who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
