69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
