I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
