hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
