First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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