It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize