my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
