dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
