im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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